How one of the worlds greatest superpowers has got away with celebrating Christmas twice in a year is little short of amazing. You would think that the people of China, with an annual Turkey based feast count of zero, would be up in arms at the flagrant over consumption of bald fowl by one of their key nuclear rivals. But apparently that is not the case.
Across America, on the fourth Thursday of November, families gather to gorge themselves sick, watch football (American) and recall their country’s relationship with it’s indigenous peoples with some of the most spectacularly rose tinted glasses to leave a metaphorical opticians. For those of you not in the know, the origin of the feast day is as follows:
Back in the day (16 something and something) a group of people left Europe on a ship bound for the then New World. They were fleeing the persecution that they faced in their home countries as a result of their choice in headwear and aggressively large shoe buckles. Having departed from Plymouth, they arrived in Plymouth (much to the less observant among them’s annoyance) and decided to set up shop1. However they soon encountered a problem.
With their packed lunches exhausted and the final mars bar consumed they quickly realized that their money was not good in any of the local stores. Fortunately, Squanto, a local Native American and a dab hand at growing corn and catching eels taught them how to find food and feed themselves…on corn and eels.
To celebrate they held a great feast for three days to give thanks for their safe passage and the fact that they hadn’t starved.
Then they killed all the Indians (more or less).
And so it is today that Americans remember that happy time by eating approximately 1/5 of a genetically modified super turkey, losing proprioception, and collapsing to watch American Football.
My first experience of this most excellent of holidays occurred at the Stohler household. Justine Stohler is the girlfriend (eeeuuugh yuck) of my increasingly shiny-headed roommate Nate. I was greeted with literally open arms into a marvelously diverse family who proceeded to feed me too much then force me to play backyard football, then watch me dry heave a little, then force me to play again. I feel I represented Britain with some aplomb, complementing Grams on her fine stuffing, throwing one of the two touchdown passes of the day and being suitably excited by a close game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Dolphins.
Bring on Christmas proper.
1 “This looks alright, lets set up shop” A Pilgrim – back in the day
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